How to post about your relationship on social media without making it weird

When you start a new relationship, there’s a lot to figure out: Communication styles, how you prefer to set up your week, and whether “Stranger Things” is more scary or suspenseful (scary, in my opinion). These are all topics that need to be covered.

As silly as it sounds, social media PDA (Public Displays of Affection) is another area that’s up for discussion. Love it or hate it, its presence slowly creeps its way into a relationship. If you’re trying to figure out the right way to navigate social media PDA, here are some tips:

LISTEN

Start slow

If you’re not sure how you feel about social media and its role in your relationship, go easy at first. There’s plenty of time to #mancrushmonday or #womancrushwednesday to your heart’s content. But see how this digital display feels before you go all in.

Get your partner’s take

You’re constantly refreshing your Twitter and Instagram. It’s just the way your brain works, and therefore a little social media PDA only makes sense to you. But realize that your partner might not feel the same way about letting the world in on their personal life. In fact, a casual, cutesy tweet you fire off while you’re waiting for your coffee to brew might be the stuff of nightmares for them. Before you slap their name all over your Instagram bio and make a couple’s Bitmoji, have a conversation about what they’re comfortable with.

You’re not obligated to incorporate your partner into your social media presence

Despite how it may feel sometimes, you’re actually not contractually obligated to post IN A RELATIONSHIP on Facebook when you get into one. On the other hand, if you guys took a cute selfie together and you want to share it, do it. There are no hard and fast rules about the social media progression that goes along with a new relationship. Your best friend does it one way, your sister has a totally different take, and you can have your own approach, too. Social media should be a reflection of your life, so choose to use it in a way that works for you.

Don’t get so caught up in what everyone thinks

There are algorithms in place that make it nearly impossible to get your company’s new Facebook campaign the likes you thought it deserved, and yet as soon as you post a picture of you with your new boo suddenly your sixth grade best friend, your former teacher, and your great aunt all need the scoop on what’s up. Indulge them with the details if you’re so inclined, but don’t be so concerned about how your relationship looks to someone who knows you loosely that you forget to think about your own happiness. Are you actually enjoying the relationship or are you just in it because it feels like you should be?