How to keep your identity in a relationship and more dating tips from Blair Primis

This week we had Blair Primis, VP of Marketing at OrthoCarolina/Charlotte enthusiast/great human, on the podcast. Besides giving some insight about what makes Charlotte special, Blair also served up realness on relationships, re-inventing yourself when unexpected life changes happen, and keeping your own identity when you become part of a couple.

 

Here are some of the key points we learned from our conversation with Blair, but make sure to check out the episode below.

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Some dating confusion is standard

No matter how many dates you’ve been on, you will never be 100 percent confident that you’re going about this whole thing correctly. Questioning whether you’re saying/doing/feeling the right thing from time to time is just part of the deal.

Adapt in a relationship, but don’t redefine who you are

Relationships are about compromise, of course, but there’s a fine line between adapting when you become part of a couple and completely changing what you’re all about. If you love spending the weekend being active, you shouldn’t suddenly become a permanent fixture on your couch just because your significant other wouldn’t want to spend the weekend any other way. Incorporate their preferences into your life, but be upfront about what you need to feel fulfilled as a human. Don’t apologize for being you.

Past relationship experiences shouldn’t define current or future ones

It’s nearly impossible not to take some degree of baggage into a new relationship, but make an effort to approach each connection with a clean slate.

Dating has lots of gray areas

Real relationships aren’t perfect and swoony from start to finish. There are bumpy periods and awkward conversations that need to happen. There are also no hard-and-fast rules about how to meet someone, what the ideal relationship should look like, or what types of personalities work well together. Embrace the chaos.

There is value to a not-stellar date

Bad dates are truly the worst and have little to no value, but don’t underestimate the power of a mediocre date. So you might not see rainbows and fireworks and unicorns when you sit across from this person, but they could become a valuable connection in a non-romantic way. Maybe they know someone who knows someone who’s hiring for your dream job. Maybe they’re totally reckless and not someone you would want to build a relationship with, but you appreciate their sense of humor when the work week gets stressful. Just because it’s not an all-time love story that you’ll tell and retell to your grandchildren, doesn’t mean the connection lacks value.